KymcoForum.com
Scooters - 125 to 300 => Yager GT 200i => Topic started by: ScooterWolf on October 08, 2010, 07:42:35 PM
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The following is not true, but simply provided for your entertainment - ;)
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My wife slapped me in face - hard! Problem was, I had no idea why. All right ... maybe I did.
It all started earlier in the evening. I was riding back home on my scooter, Fall night, cool weather, 9:00 pm with clouds threatening rain in about an hour. That's when I saw her pulled over to the side of the road, hood up on a new import. Her hips stuck out in jeans the color of the night, with a pale face illuminated by her headlights. Her platinum blonde hair practically glowed.
Blondes. They always seem to get me into trouble, but I pull over anyway.
There's some trepidation on her face as she watches me swing off the bike until I remove my full face helmet. I guess my face said I was the trusting type and she relaxed her defenses. I'm a tall Black guy, 6' 1", and clean shaven -- hey, it's the age of Obama. I'm rewarded with a beaming smile. She's cute and certainly doesn't need all the make-up she's wearing, but I see she's close to tears and I can only imagine how worse she'd look once her mascara begins to run, or the coming rain hits her.
The car's a complete loss. The engine had seized up and there was no way it was going to start. Worse, none of us can get any bars on our cells so I offer to give her a ride to a service station about five miles down the road.
Her trepidation returns, but I promise to drive slow. She relents, especially when I insist she wear my helmet. After a few quick passenger instructions we're on our way and arrive at the station about ten minutes later (hey, I said I'd go slow). I hang around enough to make sure she's helped and on her way back with the tow truck driver.
She thanks me again, shaking my hand like it's pump and hands back my helmet. I watch her go. Maybe blondes aren't so much trouble after all. I strap on my helmet, jump on my bike and make it back home twenty minutes later, just barely beating the rain.
My wife greets me, relieved that I'm safe since I'm unusually late. I decide not to mention the blonde and chalk it up to traffic with a shrug. That's when I removed my helmet and she looks at me in open shock.
She slapped me in the face - hard. I touched my cheek, feeling a stinging redness as she marched upstairs to bed. Looks like I was sleeping on the couch tonight. Damn.
Wish I knew why?
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Not the greatest mystery, but anyone know why our rider got slapped?
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...could be that smear of make-up, or that platinum blonde hair the girl left in your helmet...
;)
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Blonde hair from the helmet is my guess.
I hope I'm wrong since I don't want to do the next mystery....
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Okay, so, if you lived in a small town I'd say that someone had already called and tipped off your wife about seeing you at the gas station with some blonde they didn't recognize before you ever got home and lied...um fibbed...um...omitted a truth.
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or that platinum blonde hair the girl left in your helmet...
Man, Word beat me to it by 13 seconds...
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I know, he's fast, right? Some nights I can't keep up. lol
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..im quick on th' draw os...
;)
..lmao...
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and lied...um fibbed...um...omitted a truth.
..what color's your hair??
;D
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You know your blondes.
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..i reckon...lol..
..i was married to one for 11 years...
8)
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Lol...that's all women's though, ain't it?
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..no, ain't no two women the same..
..not in my experience anyways....
;)
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So the moral of the story is make 'em ride without a helmet?
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...and wipe off all that danged make-up!!!!
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or avoid women who use that much makeup...
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..i like my women just a litlle on th' trashy side...
;)
..makes for a more interesting experience...
..im just sayin'!!
:o
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That explain the hanging around the courthouse I suppose...
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..mmm..yup..i reckon.....
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Nooo...that was jury duty...i remember.
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..yeah ...jury duty...
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The enigma that is Wordslinger.
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Heheh ... love all the replies. Yeah, so the answer is --
Don't be a (married) black guy giving a woman with too much make-up and blonde hair your helmet. But ... you know,
this is just a story. World keeps a spinnin', as Stewie says.
Looks like Word's the winner ;)
Hey -- What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel up ahead on the side walk?
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Looks like Word's the winner
Second place again...
always a bride's maid...
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..i really didn't want to win....
..dang...
..so here's the mystery....
;)
.you're accustomed to the same trek...pretty much every day..you know the roads, the potholes, manhole covers..all the little rifts and ruffles that are going to be in your way...
..sssso, when you make that routine left turn onto Center Street, and suddenly the rear tire shifts several inches to th' right, and you suck all the air outta your helmet and you jam your left foot to the pavement, and wretch the handlebars right.... just in time to recover...but, your scoot's now sounding like it's really bogging down..though you are throttling really high, but there's NO response from the rear tire!!!
..what just happened??..it was a mystery...
:o
peace
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It sounds like there's a problem with the throttle, though I'm not sure what would cause the rear wheel to lurch during the turn.
-Wolf
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..well, this post has been up a while with only wolf's response....
..imma give it just a little while more, then i'll tell the resolution...
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No mystery -- your rear tire is goin' flat. ;D
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Yeah, the flat makes sense, but why would the rear tire not work?
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No mystery -- your rear tire is goin' flat.
..hoolander is absolutely right!!!
but why would the rear tire not work?
..maybe i threw you off by saying "no response"..
...i meant ..no throttle response...
..the increased drag created by the nearly flat rear tire negated acceleration...
..sssso, the next mystery belongs to Hoolander2!!!
..good job, brother!!
peace
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Oh, geez, I didn't know THAT was the prize. :) I'm not too creative so I'm gonna re-vamp an old riddle.
You're shooting the breeze with some scooter buddies and the subject of naming your scoots comes up. Everyone throws out a name for their scooter or a name they're thinking of naming it.
One friend says he has named his scooter after the horse in "Jingle Bells". Everyone but you smiles and gets it.
What is the scooter's name?
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...i reckon i ain't gettin' it just yet...
..hmmm.......
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Okay, I'm going to say either Dashing, or Miss Fanny Bright.
"A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot"
-Wolf
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Nope, ScooterWolf, sorry. Nice bit of research though. If you're reading all the lyrics, you should be able to figure it out.
Clue: "Making Spirits Bright"
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If the scooter is named after the horse, then based on looking at the lyrics I would say 'Bob'.
But ... Bob isn't actually the name of the horse, but in this case a verb, as in 'to bob' (braid short) a horse's tail.
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
If the lyrics said - 'Bells on Bob's tail ring' then the horse's name would be Bob.
Anyway, for years (and I mean years) I always thought the lyrics were,
Bells about to ring
Making sprits bright
Shows what I know.
-Wolf
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..i have a friend named Bob...
..ain't never heard his tail ringing...
;D
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Ok, then, you got it Wolf! ;) The answer was told to me as: "Bells on Bobtail ring". Maybe ther were alternate versions over the years?
So the answer I was looking for was "Bobtail". Wolf Wins!
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Don't know about ringing, but if you try to dash through the snow in the scoot, Bob's tail will certainly be swinging...
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...lol..yeah, i rode in the snow last winter..
..had a frikin BLAST!!!...
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Yeah, it is fun stuff.
Would have been more fun if I had that lower rear mudguard and didn't get a snow shower doing it.
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..i modded my rear flap...cut part out of the middle, and attached the lower, flipped-out part, to the top...
..looks waay beter and still functions...
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I still haven't ordered the part yet.
Seems kind of expensive for a little bit of plastic.
I need one of Blue's redneck fixes I think.
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From Wikipedia:
Original lyrics
The 1857 lyrics differed slightly from those we know today. It is unknown who replaced the words with those of the modern version.[2]
Dashing through the snow, In a one-horse open sleigh, O'er the hills we go, Laughing all the way. Bells on bobtail ring, Making spirits bright, Oh what sport to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight.
|: chorus :| Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way! O what joy it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago I thought I'd take a ride And soon Miss Fannie Bright Was seated by my side The horse was lean and lank Misfortune seemed his lot He got into a drifted bank And we got upset
|: chorus :|
A day or two ago The story I must tell I went out on the snow And on my back I fell A gent was riding by In a one-horse open sleigh He laughed as there I sprawling lie But quickly drove away
|: chorus :|
Now the ground is white Go it while you're young Take the girls along and sing this sleighing song Just get a bobtailed bay Two forty as his speed Hitch him to an open sleigh and crack! You'll take the lead.
|: chorus :|
Wiki also states that bob or bobtail is NOT the name of the horse. ;D Sorry guys. . .
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But it does raise an interesting question - how many people actually name their scooters?
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I've been calling mine either "Kimmie" or "Blossom".
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Mines' called Vader, or Vee for short.
-Wolf
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See, I've never really given my scoot a name.
I just refer to it as 'The Hog'.
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...there are stores in the mall with Christmas decorations...
..i know..i was there with my girls today....
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...my a50 has been referred to as "the beastie"...
..but usually just call it "old girl"...
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Yep, I was at Lowes today and the first thing you see when you walk in is all the Christmas decorations and artificial trees.
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I think we've been lucky here in southern NJ. I've only seen Halloween, and today, Thanksgiving decorations up.
I'll be in Ottawa Tuesday. Wonder what the Canadians will be showing?
-Wolf
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Wonder what the Canadians will be showing?
Hockey